please find and remove the sign

I appear to have been marked with an invisible sign that says PICKPOCKET ME. Perhaps it is a smell or something. Maybe people just want to get into my pockets... anyway none of the girls have been hit but last week was the third time someone's tried- with no success.

The first time was exciting, something new, something different. Now I just get angry. I wish my reaction to adrenaline hitting my bloodstream is a little less 'OMGWTF IS GOING ON' and more of the punchy (or even chokey) flavour.

The last time I was walking along, heading to the Nayra cafe- nowhere near a high-traffic, batten down the hatches you're in pick-pocket territory- and I feel a nudge against my back. I spin around, adrenaline pumping (see above), and there's a guy beside me caught in the act of scratching his arm. His itchy arm, held straight out, is coincidentally at a perfect height for undoing the zippers on my backpack. Once I'm safely on the other side of the street I check my pack and, sure enough, one of my pockets has been unzipped. I frantically check for my iPod and other goodies inside, but I guess I spun around in time. I watch as a fracas breaks out as the pickpockets (they always seem to move in threes) get into a pushing match with another Mongolian who happened to catch them going after his wallet.

The time before that I was a little more aware. That time I was in pick-pocket territory, just around the corner from the post office, and as I crossed a side street these two guys came running across as if they were dashing to the other side of the street. Uh-huh. As soon as they're in front of me one guy takes out a box of matches and starts tossing it in the air, and then I'm aware of the third guy right behind me. So I figure it out- it's a moving trap: the guy in front is going to 'accidentally' drop the matches, him and his friend are going to stop to pick them up, and when I bump into them the guy behind will bump me and relieve me of my wallet.

I'm suspicious right away so I slow down. Like really slow down, and I do it so quickly that the guy behind, the one going to be doing the action, passes me. So what does he do, as I saunter along, he suddenly gets a phone call on his cell and stops to take the call. And I pass him, only this time I'm certain they're pick-pocketing so I move laterally out of the trap and end up wandering among parked cars. When this happens, lo and behold, the guys in front turn to see their friend still on the phone and turn back to join him. When they hook up, they all turn around and head back to the post office.

feckers.